This book probably falls in the my top 5 favorite books now. It was so very encouraging, somewhat conficting at times, but overall, an easy read. As William and I are entering into parenthood, I knew that Michelle Duggar's parenting style was one I was interested in b/c... well, have you seen how well they behave?! Now some of you are thinking, yea but they are kinda wierd... do you ever stop to think that those ppl we typically think are "weird" b/c they dress plainly, have higher morals, don't wear makeup, etc... are maybe closer to what God requires of us than we are?! William and I have talked about it and we think that they are probably the ones who are actually doing it right... not us. Though the book was not all about parenting, she did share some helpful tips that I plan to try with my own children.
For us entering into parenthood means living a lifestyle that I never really experienced... the frugal life. I didn't grow up rich, but I was blessed to have more than I needed. As for now, we'll be doing good to have what we need with us being on one income and adding another human being to that. Being a stay at home mom is what I have always wanted and it's what I know w/out doubt God has led us to at this time. When starting this book, I was anxious to find out just how the Duggars could afford everything... remember they haven't had this show forever. At one point they had their first 5 children in a 900 sq. ft house, which is 200 sq ft smaller than ours and that blows my mind! As Americans we have a hard time understanding why they would do this. The Duggars follow the Bible as closely as possible and shared the verse Romans 13:8 which says, "Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law." They do not believe in having debt, which is something William and I feel strongly about although we do have a house payment. It has made me second think that though. Living in a nation where having the newest technology, a new car, a bigger house, etc is a must it can be hard to live the lifestyle we think God has led us to. In all honestly, I'm thankful we are at a place in our life where we don't have money to buy w/e we want b/c we are learning to depend on God more and more.
What I loved reading about most in the book were the instances in which they prayed about something and waiting to see how God would provide... and guess what - He ALWAYS did. They share about times where they didn't pray about something before doing it and often it backfired on them. It was really neat to hear how God provided and many of the instances most of us would have borrowed the money to pay for something and they didn't. You wouldn't believe the prices they could things at b/c they just kept praying and offering a low amount. This was very encouraging to me, esp. when I wonder how we are going to pay for all this baby stuff, doc visits, and so on. Already I have seen God at work in our lives by providing things for us for Abby Ruth. Sometimes I do start to get scared and have to remind myself that God wants me at home and He'll make sure that everything is taken care of.
Sorry this was so long winded... I hope some of you made it this far but I won't be surprised if many don't. This book also led me to my New Year's Resolution... which I will share next time!
I loved the Duggars too...until I read about their child-raising strategies. TLC conveniently never shows the Duggars disciplining their kids, because they know it would really turn viewers off. The Duggars use both Gothard's training techniques and No Greater Joy (NGJ) Ministries discipline techniques. Gothard advocates blanket training (see here http://www.ffministry.org/blanket_training.htm), which isn't terrible if you believe in constant, unquestioning obedience and spanking young babies with an object. NGJ, however, suggests pulling the hair of a nursing infant, using plumbing line as a discipline tool, etc. It literally makes me sick. Babies have even DIED from being "disciplined" in the ways the Pearls suggest (check out this article: http://www.examiner.com/attachment-parenting-in-mankato/another-child-s-death-linked-to-pearls-and-to-train-up-a-child or http://www.salon.com/life/feature/2006/05/25/the_pearls ) I highly recommend you go to Amazon and search for "To Train Up a Child" and read some of the reviews.
ReplyDeleteJust my 2 cents. I know I used to really like them and admire Michelle for her children's behavior until I learned how the Duggar children became so obedient. http://razingruth.blogspot.com/ is another blog written by a woman who was raised in the Quiverfull movement and was disciplined using Gothard's techniques. http://nolongerquivering.com/ shows the no-so-nice side of the Quiverfull movement.
I guess I admire their thriftiness, and parts of their way of life, but I cannot fathom disciplining a baby in the way they advocate. Just thought you should know.
Very interesting, Bonnie! I want to read their book sometime. While we can't advocate any one 100%, we can learn from everyone. We shouldn't swallow everything "hook, line, and sinker", but neither should we "throw out the baby with the bath water." I am so excited to see what God is doing in your lives as a family and so excited to see what He is going to do as your family grows to 3! So can't wait to meet Abby Ruth!!! (You look adorable, btw!)
ReplyDeleteHave you looked into the Babywise books? Chris and I actually went through a class at our church using them. I love it so much I was in one of the new videos and our story with our struggles with Holden is in the new books. They are great, God centered parenting stratgies that aren't too one sided. Very down the middle, and are very parent friendly. For example they say all the time not to get too wrapped into all the different "types" of parenting. Some times you have to change things for a season, for a child, or for a life time.
ReplyDeleteJust a thought. The link is:http://www.gfi.org/
The American Academy of Pediatricians has issued warnings about the book and its strategies. Babies have suffered failure-to-thrive, extreme weight loss, and it's particularly hard on nursing moms. Babies don't need schedules- they need to be fed when they're hungry.
ReplyDeleteFurther, Babywise is now published independently, after going through several publishers and calls to halt publication. It's been
publicly criticized by not only the AAP, but by Christianity Today (among many other publications), and numerous breastfeeding groups.
More info:
http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2001/july8/12.20.html
http://www.salon.com/life/feature/1998/08/cov_06feature.html
The authors of Babywise aren't even doctors- Ezzo's degree is in Christian ministry, not pediatrics. Would you go to your preacher if you had issues with your baby's health? I doubt it.
Ezzo WAS a preacher before he was essentially kicked out of his own church. One of only MANY dishonest things related to this man.
By the way- his own children are estranged from him. Makes you think about taking parenting advice from him, huh?
http://ezzo.info/Timeline/timeline1.htm
Bonnie, you are a very wise woman and God has given YOU the wisdom and discernment to decide what is best for YOUR baby. You can only take from ANY of these books (or friends' advice) what works best for you and your family. For us, we really appreciated the wisdom and scheduling ideas that were taught in the Babywise books(Preparation for Parenting, rather)--it worked great for us and I highly recommend it--along with a dose of your own common sense that God gave you.(I know that you have more sense than to let your own baby starve.That's a bit ridiculous!) However,the most important thing is to depend on God's grace daily to get you through. He has fully equipped you to raise this child the way that would be pleasing to Him. We will be praying for you as you anticipate Abby Ruth. WE love you!
ReplyDeletethe duggars are child abusers
ReplyDelete